Since the relaunch as Flash of Steel in August, site traffic has boomed. Every month traffic has increased, from a low of 1400 in August to around 3400 in December. Not great numbers, but better than I expected. And I haven’t Carnivaled at all or participated in a Round Table very often.

A lot of this is because of some very friendly linking from some very friendly people. Bruce Geryk continues to market my site more heavily than I do, I got a nice bump in traffic after Quarter To Three linked to me, regular hits from the good folks at Tacticular Cancer and the Civ Chronicles stories have gotten my name out there too. I have a lot of regular readers now, all of whom mean a great deal to me. Thanks to everyone who has now forced me to take this seriously.

Still, the most reliable source of traffic is the search engine, through which people show up entirely by accident. Searches fall into three reliable categories. First, people looking for information on games or gamers. Second, people looking for homework answers. Third, general perversion. I now bring you the highlights of the hell that this Google. Or Yahoo. Or MSN. Some people still use Altavista.

rts “no magic” strategy – You want Age of Empires
cossacks II patch would not install – The patch does not install “fun”
“sword and sandals” flash game – It was this search that led me to Playaholics.
how to modify the battle outcome of Rome:Total War – The battles are the easy part, dude.
company of heroes too hard – Yes.
“company of heroes” + “how to win” – See?
oblivion is oblivious to roleplaying – Ooh, wordplay!
europa universalis byzantium how win – Buy off the Turks.
civilization 5 game – See, this is the problem with gamers today. Civ 4 is still out there.
“Black and white 2″+satisfy people’s need for sleep – Make them play Black and White 1?
any strategic games [let it be good!] – Check Gamespot. Or Gamespy. Or here.
“like knights of honor” – If you mean the game, Medieval 2. If you mean the people, Canadians.
scénarios rome total war ssi wargames archive – Boy, are you on the wrong track.
Left Behind: Eternal Forces Bioware – You too, bud, but this at least sounds interesting.
roman legionary pitchers total war – I understand Scipio had a nasty slider, but some control problems after the VIth inning.
mount and blade mod Hussite wars – This is an excellent idea.
american conquest divided nation sold copies – Sadly, it probably did.
cracked madden keeps crashing – Sucker.
“strategy games” nerds stereotyping – The stereotype is that we are all brilliant conversationalists with abs of steel.
german board game better than risk – Pick any German game. Or Polish. Or Cuban. It will always be better than Risk.
can I buy thurn & taxis beer – If so, I bet it’s awesome.

Then there is the list of gaming people and publications.

Joel Hulsey ziff davis, Joel Hulsey games, “Joel Hulsey” problem – If all these searches lead people here, Joel needs to raise his Google profile. Because I’ve only mentioned him once or twice.
Bruce Geryk favorites – Undoubtedly German and colorful, with no Stalins.
Bruce Shelley Kotaku Warlords – It was Warchiefs.
computer games magazine railroad strategy game vs. sid meier – It was Ticket to Ride and I got it for Xmas. It is great.
tom chick panzer commander – Maybe in his next movie.
bruce geryk rome total war – I wonder what Bruce thinks of the Total War games?
Soren Johnson play early play often – That’s the idea, yeah. Iterative design.
“computer games magazine” writers payment – HAHAHAHAHAHA. (Just kidding, Steve.)

reasons for dutch colonization in the Americas – Money. And the quest for tulips.
discovery of new world by europeans and impressions the settlers had – “So is this some sort of reality show? Or do I really have to live here?”
amerigo vespucci jokes – Seriously?
give me some similarities on these characters Cortes’ and Pizarro – Spanish. Warlike. Wore pots on their heads.
roman building that is tilted – Well, it’s in Pisa, for one thing. Idiot.
bull run2 where did it happen – The fact that it was a sequel isn’t a clue?
future perfect continuous tense activities and games – And this is why education sucks today. “Let’s make learning future perfect fun!” Impossible.
differences in the New World discovery and colonization process between the Portuguese and the Spanish – One got Mexico, one got Brazil. Not clear who the winner would be.
5 similarities on Domuses and Villas – Houses, Roman, rich people, atriums, less fire prone than insulae.
When did pirates start and when did they end – So long as I never finish Troy Godson’s career, Pirates! will live forever.
positive contributions jessica simpson made to society – Nil. Wait, she pays taxes, right? There’s that.
hannibal route to rome with amp – I know it’s a typo, but the idea of Hannibal bringing roadies with him across the Alps is very amusing.
slave revolt by spartacus 73 B.C.E. (videos) – Crassus forgot to set up the camera.
what promise did the roman army make – “We won’t kill all of you. This is a slave economy, you know.”

SEX FLASH GAME – The single most common search that brings people here.
steel sex – Like, robots?
mature babe in stockings – I guess this isn’t necessarily weird.
disembowelling fanstasies – This is a real fetish?
football nut grab flash – I hope this is soccer-football. Because I don’t want to grab a linebacker.
how to dress sexually provocative – No TV? Unavision is full of tips.
shooting swim suit models (flash game) – With a camera, right?
hot melf sex – Is the E for Everyone?
female reaction to male flasher – I still hate people
nimf women want sex – Maybe, but only with their husbands.
do women prefer skimpy male bathing suits – How the hell should I know?
naked Cleopatra – HBO’s Rome restarts this month.
FEMALE SEX BOTTOMS IN THE GTA – Stop it.

And finally, the most perverted, odd, dehumanizing search of all….

heroes of annihilated empires porn – I really, really, really hate people.