As I sort through two years of posts, trying to organize them into categories that make sense, I thought I’d go through the logs of Portico and see what brought people to my corner of the internet to begin with. You can learn a lot about people from what they search, if those leaked AOL logs are to be believed.
The most common searches were, naturally, people looking for me. Many of them students trying to find my AIM name so they could harrass me. Many from a regular reader who apparently doesn’t know how to bookmark a website. At any rate, those kinds of searches are quite boring.
Like Gaul, Portico searches are divided into three parts.
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Games
Hearts of Iron Swastika Hacks – This is a disturbingly common search. I’m all for historical fidelity, but the dozens of people who ended up at Portico looking for Nazi flags is still a little peculiar.
Pax Romana interface mod – All the mods in the world won’t help.
“Imperialism 2†and “food†– At least this one makes sense. Keeping a steady food supply is fiendishly difficult in Imperialism 2.
katmari damacy for personal computer – Dream a little dream for me.
how to make your dragoon hms to dragoon ultimate hms – I think this is game related.
“best warcraft player” – You won’t find him here.
bfme 2 is a clickfest – Is not.
Frisians in rpgs – Some people have very particular tastes.
How is the Portuguese stick guessing game played – I don’t know what this game is.
Breast Grabbing Games – Or this one.
internet games that you get to be a giant women in a bikini – I need to find this game.
People
“Cindy Yans†born – Great. They come here to stalk other people.
history of tbs games geryk – The history is he always wins.
bruce geryk jerk – Because he always wins.
What happened to matt gallant – Here. Unless you mean that Animal Planet guy.
kieron gillen rpgcodex – Run, Kieron. Run.
“tom chick†“the sims†“killing people†– And so the dark life of one of the business’s best writers is exposed.
Miscellaneous
Battle of Isandlwhana – History nerds love me.
Tigranocerta pdf – See?
oval arena in Constantinople – SEE!
sexually provocative stories – And perverts.
getting your ass kicked – This I can help with.
Wow, I’m impressed. You either have the scariest readership or the most magical. Despite our horrific name, we just get people searching for “Desperados 2 singleplayer” or other such mundane things. I must be doing something wrong.
“bfme 2 is a clickfest”
tee hee
I’m surprised you don’t get more hits for prostate surgeons.
If you can help with that bikini game, though…
Behold the glory of The Daibijin!